tyler keeps silent for once.

Too little time to write. Am not liking it. A few things:

Tyler kept silent when i needed him the most. Then Tyler says, Where'd you go, emo-boy? I was there all the while. You didnt want me speak at all. Once again he's right. Emoboy here needs a whipping i think. so once again raplh takes a walk and this time its the shadows he stays in. Irritatingly, parents are right again. Tyler too, i hate. Cant do without, cant wait to be without.

Mom --> Commissions arent bad. Its the influence later tht matters. Family was never the buisness sort. Will only screw things up. Point noted. Still, i do love publicity and all that shite. I still do not see whats so morally wrong with comissions. True our values are different. PArt of me wants to bel ike them, another part sez its bullshit. Tyler's not bothered with either. Family IS diff from me in some ways. Values esp. Thts the source all all discordia in house and am taking it badly coz i really want agreement form both sides. Guess ill have to settle on acceptance. So i will not go for the commission thing, i guess. If only to respect the values of parents, and also to be cautious.

Maturity cannot just come. Maturity is experience. maturity isnt how much youve been through, its how long. Coz a 40 yr old will be infinitely more exp than a 21. At least, this is the case in my situation. This i shall heed. I used to and still destest all those ppl who think they are mature but actually arent, and do things they think are but arent. I might be turning into one of them.

Shadow: isnt my parent's. Its my own. Self doubt. Its rather big.

Moving to pgp, for better or worse, is welcome. Now i get to live for my own. Ill see how it goes. Stepping out of shadows might be harder, and now without even the agreement and approval from my parents, this seems so much harder. Daunting. Much daunted. Tyler's gonna be having lots of fun now.