back to the wastelands

my pocket burns because i just gave $80 to a good friend for his wedding. Ouch. But man they look soo sweet. And impt lesson: NEVER invite your camp colleagues over to your wedding. Not even if you're a regular working there. Never. They managed to just about screw up everything with a GLORIOUS lack of sophistication and managed to get poor bridegroom piss drunk. Ha. Hows he gonna perform tonight i have no idea. XDXD.

a few things to get off chest:

one thing i hate abt people: trying to care too much. people dont hurt that easy man. i dont. gets summat unnerving having ppl asking if u fine all teh time. guess i might understand how some people feel now. concern is good. just dont overdo it.

i have my own life n i dont like it to be touched/manipulated by others. esp now. esp now. If im misunderstood so be it, done bun cant be undone. If i supposedly did something wrong then tell. Im civil enough to acknowledge it. I cant really blame people for trying to do what they have to do, or need to do, or did not do; but that dont mean i must take that shit. Ive got my own life too. Being nice dosent mean accepting it as it is. betrayal. Sickening. My fault for being so trusting anyway, fule. (Dont change too much) someone said? Hell, ill be taking more stuff with a pinch of salt now, so there. change? i think its more like an oscillation.

I happen to like my privacy alot. maybe im taken for the fule too many times and things are taken for granted so much some of my stuff dont count for much. Im human too, remember. I eat, shit, live and die too.

And sometimes enough is enough. I wont be taken through this whole merry-go-round again where you see the same thing each 360 degress and everything is in a blur. Screw that. I wont be the cog in the watchwork again. Maybe a monkey wrench makes good company.

So im headed back for the wastelands, the sun's better there, and for now the dunes make better company, better than the current winds blowing east. and maybe if i feel like it i'll send letters back from the wasteland. I dont expect any of them to be read but that dosent matter, anyway. The nimbus will be over the horizon.



Meanwhile aust film fest here i come! No lady salsa, so ill have to subst it for something else then.

Oh OCR, open house. Ah. it has come alive. Work too. Die.