30 rules skippy sets

Things not to go in general for skippy:

1. I am not allowed to moon the congregation
2. I am not allowed to perform the sacrament of St. Jack the 80-Proof.
(2.1No spiking of communion wine with LSD)
(2.2 Nor am I allowed to slip a roofie to any nubile young church-goers, no matter how sexually frustated I am.)
3. My miter is not a toy.
4. When in the Popemobile, Cardinals are not worth 10 points each.
(4.1. This is not because they are actually worth 111 points.)
5. Feeding Frenzies at Mass are bad.
6.It's "kiss the ring", not "pull my finger".
7.The sceptre is not a 'boom stick'. Ever.
8.There is no beatification betting pool. Even if there was, it would be unfair of me to enter9.The other Cardinals have probably read the Bible too. Therefore I should not make up new 10.verses, chapters, or gospels to justify smiting someone
11.The Vatican does not have casual Fridays.
12.Am not allowed to Body Surf off the balcony of the papal apartments.
13.Am not allowed to "Throw up the Horns" no matter how "Fucking Metal" I think Jesus was.
(Yea, Verily you have quoted www.penny-arcade .com and that has made me happy)
14.Am not allowed to use "Battle Pope" as an example for my papal behaviour.
15.Am not allowed to raid the Vatican treasure vaults to score some high grade weed.
16.Am not allowed to randomly bless things just to watch my underlings have to venerate them as holy relics, no matter how hilarious it may be to watch them genuflecting to the Sacred Wad of Used Tissue
17.The Swiss Guard are wearing extremely impressive uniforms that carry a weight of tradition and respectability, not stripy pyjamas, and I would do well to remember this.
18.Am not allowed to excommunicate the Popemobile driver due to his refusal to sing the Batman theme every time he drives me.
19.Am not allowed to throw other people off the balcony of the papal apartments, no matter how much I want to test that infallibility thing.
20.Am not allowed to do the "Vatican Rag" as an opening to morning mass.
21.Am not allowed to serve blutwurst at mass in lieu of communion wafers and wine.
22.I am not to begin refering to them as "Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook."
23.The Angel Gabriel should be referred to as the Angel Gabriel, not as the Snob.
24.Am not allowed to make fun of The Metatron's accent
(24.1. Even if it reminds me of the Sheriff of Nottingham)
25.Blessings from the balcony do not mean I get to sing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina"
26.The mitre is not appropriate for kung-fu fights
27.Referring to any of the papal wardrobe as "my bling" is generally frowned upon
28.Am not allowed to post secrets of which cardinal I am boffing this week on
29.I should not expect "Sieg Heil" when i wave my hand at the masses from my balcony.
30."They've elected Supreme Chancellor Palpatine to the title of Pontiff. The jedi are doomed."
nyehehheh.

With this done i now have a special place waiting for me in hell, next to Jim Morrison, Unabomber and Mdm Ciccone on the 7th level of hell.