how the west cabins were won

okay, an eight-buck tip and plenty of stayover rooms make one a happy room attendent. and a 12hour forced-sleep period that initially gave headaches now give a much clearer view of the world.

i caught a chipmunk called melvin yesterday. me and melvin, we da arch-foes. everytime i go to lunchbreak, melvin comes along and nibbles little holes in my trashbag and all foul liquids and other shit stuff come spilling out.
eh iah decided that was eet.
iah rustled up melvin in the room of 78. t'was dark mind you, and melvin had his back to me, like billy the kid had to pat garret. but no siree, i werent no gormless dog-shooter, sho iah made spit ot git his attention.
mexican standoff.
ya see, it was danger both side-up. i had a pilla-case in hand, while melvin, dat lil scamprat might have em hanta virus up his' teeth, one biht an it wouldan be six feet unnergrund fer me.
i cornered him. mexican standoff.
an waited.
melvin chickened out. he ran, so he did. but aih blockled his escape, and the only place was the loo to go. the killun zone.
ah closed the door an he wes trapped.
now melvin, he wes gettin kinda desperate, billy would have, with me un my pilla case in hand. but i couldna catch him yet, he'd bite an id be a dead man walkin.
so aih whipped out me trusty sixgun uf a (says general all-purpose toilet cleaner - evil stuff i tellyah, made me cough an water each time i smelled them devil -fumes) spraycan,
an IAH LET THE LIL RUSTLER HAVE IT.
melvin was blinded, an in one fell swoop i caught im in mah pilla case.

well now aih mus say, i aint no bad guy,i werent out fer blood, unlike melvin wers. besides, killin critters like im be illegal. an i ah man o the law. but aih hadta teach melvin the trash rustler a lesson first. i gave it a disneyland ride, the kind that swings up an down left right, give em the wooze.
there weres squirrelshit all over in the pillacase after aih weres done with him. i guess he wers havin a helluva time.
later as i let him go on parole, he zipped right an left before he could reach his little hideyhole.

nowsadays ah see melvin, an he sees me. we watch each other now. an he NEVER, EHVHA dares ta touch ma trashbag again.

an this, was how, the west end cabins, weres won.

sherrif yc out.