The Clash of Cthulhu (Ft'agn!)

Its rare to get one of this conversations these-a-days...

says:
you're an acolyte of cthulhu ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
yes
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ftagn cthulhu
says:
erm.. can you direct me to him pls ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
mix arsenic and milk
says:
i'm on a quest with my party to vanquish him
says:
we're having trouble finding him you see.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
at the stroke of midnight, recite this: ftagn fwanlulu cthulhu
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
and drink the mixture
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you will see him
says:
ehhh
says:
we plan to visit him.
says:
you know.
says:
like a suprise sorta thing /
says:
maybe catch him with his pants down or something.
says:
not him visiting us
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
nah you need to get through his minions first
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
to visit him you need to get to his realm what
says:
uh huh..
says:
where's that ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
thts y you got to recite the thingy and drink the other thingy
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
erm, realm of cthulhu?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
(DUH)
says:
*nods*
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
and if im not wrong you'll just pop right infront of his gigantic maw
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
no, wait.. thats the maw of his praetorian guards
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
squidlike too.
says:
erm, i like my brains really.
says:
i just wanna stick my broadsword into him actually.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you could say hi to him as he pops you down his maww...
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
oh broadswords.. im sure he'll like it. keeps a load of em actually
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
usues them as toothpicks
says:
so you're gonna give us directions or do we have to beat it out of you ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
i just told you, nitwit
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
mutter the thingy and dirnk the other thingy
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you could summon him...
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
get 3 virgins, (DO NOT TOUCH THEM)
says:
you know what are directions anot ? not instructions.
says:
DIRECTIONS
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
if no virgins goat blood will do as well
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
but no more than 3 days old
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ok how about this - turn around in circles till you do a 360 kill-yourself. Aint you heard?!
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
CTHULU. IS. IN. ANOTHER. REALM.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
thts y you dont have him after your sorry ass trying to grab oyu and strick you down his maw
says:
HEY JOE! i'm wasting my time with another one of his mindless fanatics. mind bashing him up won't ya ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*morphs in to KTULU*
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*MMMWWWOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR*
says:
we all know heroes dun die
says:
*smash broadsword on mwoar
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*CRUNCHES ONE SORRY FELLOW*
says:
*smash broadsword on ktulu's head*
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*burp*
says:
quit fooling ard
says:
that was a dummy
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*fires farts of fire*
says:
i hope you enjoyed it
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
summons shub niggurath
says:
*peers behind ktulu*
ermm.. i think you just toasted some of your fellas.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
an entire host of goats swarm the party and start devouring everything and anything
says:
*summons pest control guy*
says:
goats !?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
shub niggurath is the mother of a million offspring.. the shegoat of hell
says:
did i mention we have a pet griffon that loves goats
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
erm. EEEEEWWWW
says:
NOT THAT WAY YOU PREV
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
can we do this anther time?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ive got daggoth worship in a few mintues time
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
can we continue this later?
says:
oh sure.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
sorry ol chum
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
be back same time same place.
says:
drop me a pigeon msg when you're thru then
says:
you got a map to your secret hideout i can have ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
yeah ..uh its bat message. dont got pigeons.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
uh yeah ill attach it to the bat-mail.
says:
oh yeah. bat charges are cheaper these days.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
where do i send it to?
says:
just that it don't go with this whole image thingy.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
yeah. id send flying squids but you know the price of these things theseadays
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
the company, theyre the real evil.
says:
goodygoodyheroe17@yeoldeinn.com
says:
xD
says:
no benefits ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ok. just make sure your over zealous zealots dont shoot it down before it delivers the poackage.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
its a one way service so you guys can roast it afterwards
says:
the squids or the bat ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
bat. squid i want it returned. can get rebates for returning em safe and sound
says:
dude... it's yeoldeinn.com, not our HQ forcesofgood.mil
says:
dun take it that we're all goodygoody k ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
er yeah. last time i sent it they thought i was invading them and sent an entire host of light warriors over to my pad.
says:
we like a little vices once in a while.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
took a week to devour them all. ugh.
says:
i'm not a gawd damn paladin.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
i know. one of my shapeshifter vixen-minions told me that.
said you were good but couldnt um...
sustain
says:
wha ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
that girl you met on 666 acacia avenue
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
twas one of my spies actually.
says:
SHE'S THAT WHORE WITH THE NICE RACKS ??
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you betcha
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
oh she says hi. wants to meet you again
says:
0_o
says:
nice tits btw
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*hint* i think she likes you
says:
but she needs work on her face
says:
i had to cover it with a pillow
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
hey you think its so easy to lose the tentacles?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
its tough work okay, shapeshifting biz
says:
tentacles.. hah!
says:
i knew it
says:
unprofessional minions.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
tentacle sexxx
says:
no wonder you guys stay that way all the time.
says:
whine and whine all day long.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
oh shes a profesisonal alright. if only yould let her work her tentacle on you
says:
when was the last time you slain a good king ? a bajillion years ago ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
okok i really got to go. im way under my smiting quota
says:
k bye!
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
will drop you batmail. chow
says:
ta