Seeking the Dark Tower

On the path that eventually leads to the clearing in the woods, the Charyou Tree. Fraught with danger, fear and loss, and yet, fulfillment. Welcome.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

2pm buzzed

its only 2pm and im getting myself buzzed on rum and that russian drink. its all going down good to the blues. Cream and Vaughn have always been my faves. suddenly i dont want to go out at all. Where is the damn guitar when you need her? It might be turning into a problem. i might need to clear my stash. oh dear.
guess i really should be going. lab waits for me.
ay maybe we are just hopes and dreams. Nothing lasts forever anyway.
The past is lost forever to memory
The future's never certain
The present is the only thing you can cherish.

(we are but) hopes and dreams

So i ran my fingers across your picture
but its not like running ‘em through your hair
I know its tough on you but sometimes it gets so hard

just clinging onto the thoughts and the memories
when given time even the color seeps away
through my hands and just fades, just fades away
(An’ I make believe that~~)

I feel
your caress on my lips
and I see
your golden brown hair
and I think
its you I have been thinking ‘bout
I pray
Its me you been thinking of
too

Now

Ain’t no feast that can last forever
Its come an’ gone; I’m still starvin’ for more
I can't believe you're so far, so far away
(But I close my eyes and~~)

Its you
who’s kissin’ my eyes
and its you
who’s huggin’ me close
but its you
Who started this so
Now who are we to be blamin’ for this
unraveling.

I think that

We are just hopes and dreams
We are just hopes and dreams
We are just hopes and dreams
We are just hopes and dreams

We are just hopes and dreams shimmering in the sunlight
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams withering in the cold night
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams bubbling over brook and stream
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams sinking down the deep sea
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams sailing on a smooth breeze
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams tumblin' through the rough winds
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams woven into history
(I believe I believe I believe that)
We are just hopes and dreams like a tapestry unraveling
(I believe I believe I believe that)

We are just hopes and dreams
We are just hopes and dreams
We are just hopes and dreams
We are just hopes and dreams

Nothing but hopes and dreams

Sunday, August 28, 2005

presenting: AFTERSHOCK!!

More on my favoritest drink in the world!!

Presenting: AFTERSHOCK! Cinnamon with a Capital C!


Imagine hard hard liquer of all 80 proof goodness, immersed in a sacchirine sweetness so saturated you can see sugar crystals on the base of the bottle. Infused with a potent punch of cinnamon essence and wah lah! you have stuff so good you'll go keeling over for it!

Now that ive introduced mr cinnamon, lets go more in depth.
Lets start with the cons first:

1) If you don't like cinnamon or cinnamon-flavoured drinks, you're almost certainly going to hate After Shock, which is Cinnamon with a big "C"

2) If you don't like your alcohol to give you a head rush and leave you with steam escaping from your ears (metaphorically) then, again, this is not a drink for you.

3) Cost, especially in nightclubs is astronomical. But then, so is the cost of all alcohol in nightclubs. The difference here is that After Shock tends to be consumed so much more quickly than spirits like whisky and vodka, because the strong cinnamon taste hides the alcohol taste that can make it hard to down these other quick fixes. So you can easily spend £20 or more just on your own aftershock before starting to have problems opening (or indeed finding) your wallet. And that's OUTSIDE London.

4) Leightweights beware - After Shock has a stomach-tingling 40% acohol content. (This is also a pro..)

5) It makes you fat. Considering a standard shot of spirits can contain between 90 and 160 calories, a shot of After Shock doesn't come cheap on the calorie counter. Unfortunately, I haven't managed to find a listing of the exact number of calories per shot, but as a very sugary spirit, we can assume After Shock comes pretty high up the scale. How many pints of beer (at around 200 calories depending on the brand) could you drink in an evening? How many After Shocks could you down before you realise you can't stand up? The answer to question one is "lots". The answer to question two is "lots more", especially after a large dinner.

6) With beer, extreme alcohol consumption sort of creeps up on you over a few hours(unless you're the sort of person who downs eight pints in a row); with After Shock, when you've downed eight little luminous green shot glasses of it consectuively and then sat back to wait for the big one, it's more like, to quote my recently-departed favourite author, having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.

7) If you throw up soon after drinking it, you'll notice that it burns and tingles on the way up as well as on the way down. Which isnt as bad, actually.

8)The hangover itself is an aftershock by itself. Burning eyes, hammerinahead effects are just the beggining. I remember going for work the very next day with cinnamon coming up my thraot all day.

If you haven't been put off yet, and I do hope you haven't, here are the ...Pros:

1) It tastes nice (so long as you like cinnamon) and leaves a nice tingly feeling in your mouth afterwards. A bit like Listerine, only with less of the TCP aftertaste.

2) Snogging people who've just downed a shot is much nicer than, say, snogging people who've just smoked a cigarette, so it's a good pulling tactic (until shot 6 when you start hugging all your friends and shot 9 when you begin dribbing). That one i vouch for =D. Apparently it can also be used as a sex aid, as someone says. Im not about ready to try this, and I wouldn't advocate it unless you are very, very daring. you can try and get back to me though.

3) It's a very versatile drink which can be "optimised" when the occasion calls for it. That is, you could drink a shot, or you could go for the full shock. There are a number of variations on this theme. One well-documented way to optimise your experience is to swill the spirit around in your cheeks for around half a minute before swallowing. Others advocate sticking your fingers in your mouth after swallowing, as if to whistle, and breathing in slowly. An alternative is to crouch on the floor breathing in and out quickly for 30 seconds, before standing up abruptly and immediately downing the shot of After Shock. All of these work (though the latter should be avoided by people with a weak heart) and can be combined, mix and match, to maximum effect.

4) On the subject of style, the bottle is rather cool, and makes a trendy addition to any well-stocked drinks cabinet, shelf, table or say my room floor.

6) Although a bottle, or indeed a shot, is a tad expensive, it does tend to last as people don't manage to drink an awful lot before falling over. It probably therefore works out cheaper than most other alcoholic drinks, where people will drink as much as is available.

7) And, last but not least, it can get you very, very, very drunk. Should that be a con? No, I think not.

Currently my reserves are depleting at a horrendous rate, so i am desperate to make more of it. So far the johnny walker experiment has yielded less than impressive results. It might be that i need to leave it over longer for the cinnamon to seep into the drink. Time will tell. Or else quite a bit of my walker would have been ruined.

I seriously need a cheaper vice.

So dance dance dance through the fire

Well it was a fine fun night if not nothing. Jamming, dancing, posing, foolery, etc. Now the night is over and its back to the books and dogs.
And i do realise this is the last time im going to have DnD with the barracudas. Unless of course they do decide to come back as alumni ala SPAN (always thought that was a kinda silly singaporean-style acronym). Yea, i was contemplating pulling out of DnD, even from the band, or maybe just play and leave if the barracudas didnt show up; It would have been almost pointless. My thanks to James and his ever sweet tongue for cajoling everyone else to go.
And this issue i address now: the freshies were frankly quite dissapointing. From the stage i could see only the one table way back being rowdy and that sure wasnt the freshies. Damn even the old old profs were more spontaneous than those kids. If the room was full of natural gas and someone lighted a cigg im sure the room would have remained as it was. Gah. There was this rather unpleasant feeling of deja vu being transported back to NJC where everyone was there for the function because there was a function. Too tame, far too tame, just like the local press. Local singaporean attitude. 'The paradigm has shifted'. I agree totally. The world has moved on to another place. The barracudas move elsewhere soon and i am stuck with the world. And people ask me why am i so leery and grouchy sometimes.
Nevertheless i did have quite some fun playing in the band, my thanks to all those involved for putting up with this and coming with such a relatively good performance with only ONE(!) group prac. So frightened i lost my voice during set up, and if not for Mr Cinnamon-in-a-flask i wouldnt have pulled off anything remotely close to that. The wonders of Dutch Courage =D.
Which got me quite heated up to salsa; didnt expect them to have a dance session after that; this old dog still can show a few good tricks yet! Good that i got the darkness on too. heheh. my regret is for not getting jet on the dance floor; id have loved to see how she is as a dancer.
And gosh my flask is nearly empty. I think i did take quite alot that night. Ho-hum.

Have begun the experimental brew for cinnamon liquer. 1/4 quart johnny walker, 5 sticks of cinnamon, heat up to 40C. Add sugar until saturated and let cool.
So far it looks like a witch's brew and tastes too sweet. Maybe the cinnamon hasnt kicked into the concoction yet. Experimenting has to go sub rosa from now on; dad was breathing down my neck all the while i was doing all this.
But if this is a success, my worries for cinnamon will be OVER!!

this is yc, signing off

Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Clash of Cthulhu (Ft'agn!)

Its rare to get one of this conversations these-a-days...

says:
you're an acolyte of cthulhu ?

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
yes
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ftagn cthulhu
says:
erm.. can you direct me to him pls ?

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
mix arsenic and milk
says:
i'm on a quest with my party to vanquish him
says:
we're having trouble finding him you see.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
at the stroke of midnight, recite this: ftagn fwanlulu cthulhu
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
and drink the mixture
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you will see him
says:
ehhh
says:
we plan to visit him.
says:
you know.
says:
like a suprise sorta thing /
says:
maybe catch him with his pants down or something.
says:
not him visiting us
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
nah you need to get through his minions first
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
to visit him you need to get to his realm what
says:
uh huh..
says:
where's that ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
thts y you got to recite the thingy and drink the other thingy
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
erm, realm of cthulhu?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
(DUH)
says:
*nods*
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
and if im not wrong you'll just pop right infront of his gigantic maw
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
no, wait.. thats the maw of his praetorian guards
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
squidlike too.
says:
erm, i like my brains really.
says:
i just wanna stick my broadsword into him actually.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you could say hi to him as he pops you down his maww...
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
oh broadswords.. im sure he'll like it. keeps a load of em actually
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
usues them as toothpicks
says:
so you're gonna give us directions or do we have to beat it out of you ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
i just told you, nitwit
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
mutter the thingy and dirnk the other thingy
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you could summon him...
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
get 3 virgins, (DO NOT TOUCH THEM)
says:
you know what are directions anot ? not instructions.
says:
DIRECTIONS
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
if no virgins goat blood will do as well
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
but no more than 3 days old
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ok how about this - turn around in circles till you do a 360 kill-yourself. Aint you heard?!
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
CTHULU. IS. IN. ANOTHER. REALM.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
thts y you dont have him after your sorry ass trying to grab oyu and strick you down his maw
says:
HEY JOE! i'm wasting my time with another one of his mindless fanatics. mind bashing him up won't ya ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*morphs in to KTULU*
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*MMMWWWOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR*
says:
we all know heroes dun die
says:
*smash broadsword on mwoar
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*CRUNCHES ONE SORRY FELLOW*
says:
*smash broadsword on ktulu's head*

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*burp*
says:
quit fooling ard
says:
that was a dummy
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*fires farts of fire*
says:
i hope you enjoyed it
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
summons shub niggurath
says:
*peers behind ktulu*
ermm.. i think you just toasted some of your fellas.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
an entire host of goats swarm the party and start devouring everything and anything
says:
*summons pest control guy*
says:
goats !?

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
shub niggurath is the mother of a million offspring.. the shegoat of hell
says:
did i mention we have a pet griffon that loves goats

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
erm. EEEEEWWWW
says:
NOT THAT WAY YOU PREV
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
can we do this anther time?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ive got daggoth worship in a few mintues time
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
can we continue this later?
says:
oh sure.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
sorry ol chum
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
be back same time same place.
says:
drop me a pigeon msg when you're thru then
says:
you got a map to your secret hideout i can have ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
yeah ..uh its bat message. dont got pigeons.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
uh yeah ill attach it to the bat-mail.
says:
oh yeah. bat charges are cheaper these days.

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
where do i send it to?
says:
just that it don't go with this whole image thingy.

those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
yeah. id send flying squids but you know the price of these things theseadays
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
the company, theyre the real evil.
says:
goodygoodyheroe17@yeoldeinn.com
says:
xD
says:
no benefits ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
ok. just make sure your over zealous zealots dont shoot it down before it delivers the poackage.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
its a one way service so you guys can roast it afterwards
says:
the squids or the bat ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
bat. squid i want it returned. can get rebates for returning em safe and sound
says:
dude... it's yeoldeinn.com, not our HQ forcesofgood.mil
says:
dun take it that we're all goodygoody k ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
er yeah. last time i sent it they thought i was invading them and sent an entire host of light warriors over to my pad.
says:
we like a little vices once in a while.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
took a week to devour them all. ugh.
says:
i'm not a gawd damn paladin.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
i know. one of my shapeshifter vixen-minions told me that.
said you were good but couldnt um...
sustain
says:
wha ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
that girl you met on 666 acacia avenue
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
twas one of my spies actually.
says:
SHE'S THAT WHORE WITH THE NICE RACKS ??
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
you betcha
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
oh she says hi. wants to meet you again
says:
0_o
says:
nice tits btw
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
*hint* i think she likes you
says:
but she needs work on her face
says:
i had to cover it with a pillow
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
hey you think its so easy to lose the tentacles?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
its tough work okay, shapeshifting biz
says:
tentacles.. hah!
says:
i knew it
says:
unprofessional minions.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
tentacle sexxx
says:
no wonder you guys stay that way all the time.
says:
whine and whine all day long.
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
oh shes a profesisonal alright. if only yould let her work her tentacle on you
says:
when was the last time you slain a good king ? a bajillion years ago ?
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
okok i really got to go. im way under my smiting quota
says:
k bye!
those who heed the call of cthulhu says:
will drop you batmail. chow
says:
ta

Friday, August 19, 2005

Terrible Lie

All the Lies that you despised
All the truths you told that seemed like word of th' wise

Seems like salvation come only in our dreams
I lost my ignorance, security and pride.

i'm all alone in a world you must despise.
Id Trusted you and your promises
Your Promises are LIES

Tell a Lie
Terrible Lie
Tell a Lie
Terrible Lie!

don't take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.
Please don't take it away from me.
i need someone to hold on to.

Tell a Lie!
Terrible Lie!
Tell a Lie!
All your Promises are Lies!

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

breath

So i ran my fingers down your picture
but its not running them through your hair
I know its tough on you but
sometimes it gets so hard
just clinging on to thoughts and memories
when even in time colour seeps away
through my hands and fade away
and i just make believe, just make believe it was there~~

And I feel
your caress on my lips
and see
your golden dark brown hair
I think
its you i have been thinking
I hope
Its me you been thinking.

finally one more
breath after so long underground
how long can i last again
under?

Saturday, August 13, 2005

wait

i tired calling again.
i know its probably hard on you but oh the wait is getting so tideous.

there is no moon
the clouds have shrouded the sky
there are no stars
a veil has covered my eyes.
There is no noise
silence has clogged my ears
There is no heartbeat
I am frozen in time

I wait for light.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Despair Hope

Despair
After the love
comes the darkness of hell
A demon inside
like a bottomless well
Nothing is safe
everything is a lie
Lovers dont last
no matter how hard they
Try.
Hope
Lay as i might
halfway across the world
where even stars shine different
Tonight i walk in your dreams yet again
If i can't see you now
i'll wait for you
to put the light back in my eyes

Monday, August 08, 2005

Jerky and Peppers

gah of all the dear things and people i miss i really do miss beef jerky and Dr Peppers so damn MUCH!!!!!!

!@@#$%^&*&^%$#@!

Friday, August 05, 2005

BUSH ENDORSED INTEL. DESIGN?! pouf.

thats right. my American friends, the bush world just got a bit dumber. Dear Dubya just managed to endorse Intelligent Design into schooling systems. The teachers of USA are undoubtly dissapointed and booing.

where do we go from here? new fanaticsm in progress. Bah.


as bowie says it right, "Im afraid of Americans"

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Incheon, Korea. Again.

oh!
the flowers!
the happiness!
the relief!
the floodgates! openeth!
wooosh!
wash all your worries away!

'ground control we have contact, repeat we have contact'
'standby record crew, transmission in three, two, one.'

im currently stoned, tired, hungry, and terribly jetlagged.
i am in incheon, korea, on the same terminal that i was in 3 months ago.
6 more hours to the flight
i need to find some food and a place to sleep.
ive spent my last 5 bucks on crackers, the cheapest stuff here. a few more hours to airplane food.
im malnutritioned.
so hungry. so homesick. from both places.

everybody especially my FIIIZZAAA MEEES YOU LIKE PHHHHUUUUUUUUNNNK~~!

Monday, August 01, 2005

one more day

you told me you would come
but you didnt
now you tell me you wont come
so i shall expect you to come
have i finally begun to understand you?

saw this japanese poem in the metro. stuck to the head.

my last day in the states for a while. i hate the place to a certain degree, but i love it so much. i'd hate to leave but i'd miss home so much.

'paradoxical, innit?'

silence is not the way,
we need to talk about it;
heaven is on the way,
heaven is on the way;
i'm a stranger in this town.

im just drained from all the travelling and new experiences. just want a nice cup of coffee with familiar old faces to chill abit.

1 more day. and dreading it, welcoming it.